So Confused

So, I work at a company where we get treated really well. There are heaps and heaps of benefits. $500 christmas gift cards to David Jones, Christmas parties to places such as Luna Park, Billy Joel Concert, etc... Uniform is provided, we have cakes every month.. Its pretty sweet.

I have a few problems that are really affecting me though.

1. I sit next to a guy that annoys the crap out of me. Its not so much that he is annoying (EVERYONE agrees with me); but he wastes my time. He has been in the position now for almost a year, and still asks me many MANY questions. I am micro-managing him. He has actually been there longer than I had been working there when I started training him. He also feels the need to butt in to every conversation there is, and is a LOUD talker. He constantly yells across the office to people because he's too lazy to get up.

2. I have a lot of clients to deal with and quite often don't have enough time to get it all done. A lot is expected  of me, and my time is demanded from 120 people at any given moment. It is quite stressful.

3. I don't earn as much money as I could elsewhere.

4. My boss has a weirdass opinion of me. She has made comments to me constantly about my shoes, my makeup, my hair, my clothes, how I wash/iron my uniform... and then has made comments to a friend of mine (not realising it would be repeated) about how I have no confidence and she has to help my confidence, that I need more friends and that I overthink everything. Its quite humiliating, and while I can understand how shes come up with these things (although they aren't true), I don't feel as though I should change to impress her.


I am very very concerned that by leaving, I would be making the wrong decision. I start looking for another job and I get depressed. But this job has forced me to need to be on antidepressants... There is no guarantee that I will like a new job better, or that I won't regret leaving. If only the above problems could be resolved, and then I could stay.

I think I am going to try and make things better and wait until Christmas. See if anything changes. Use the Secret to concentrate on being much happier at work.

I am going to speak up to the bloke thats annoying the crap out of me. I can't help not liking him. I couwd be sat next to someone I dislike again at the next place. But its not my job to continue managing him. He has been trained sufficiently enough. I will direct him to management each time he keeps querying everything. I will also make a point of not talking to him so hopefully he will eventually get the hint and leave me alone. I think I will say something about his loud-talking and yelling across the room.

There are items coming out that will make dealing with the clients a lot easier. Hopefully this will happen soon and negate the excessive stress placed on me.

I guess I either ignore what she thinks of me, or make more of an effort at work and then she will think I exude confidence. I guess I do need to do that if I was to move up in the company at all.

I wonder if applying to university for my special ed course would make me feel better about working there. Its going to be something that takes a long time to complete, and I understand that... Its going to take its toll on me. But if I had a goal that didn't involve this work place, maybe it would make me feel more positive about this job and realise that its really just a means to earn money. I don't have to be liked by everyone, I am employed to do my role and only my role.


I seriously still have no idea what I'm going to do..